Does it think I don’t know how this feels?

I’m trapped here. Or, it feels like I’m trapped. There is one thing between me, and getting the hell out of here, and that’s this bloody barrier. So, I walk. Back and forth, back and forth, every little part of me just wanting to do something to get out. I shake my hands, trying to release that tension and make another half turn. I’m gonna start counting my steps in a minute, or maybe I’m not. This is not frustration I’m feeling at all. I’m just really… I dunno.

Back and forth, back and forth. I can feel it bubbling up inside me, but I can’t make a scene, can I. Nah. That’s not the done thing. Not around here. I need to keep my face still. The cameras are on me. Back and forth, back and forth. I swear I’ll start making a trench in this hard cement floor if I keep this up.

If someone comes in, maybe I’ll roll my eyes when they’re not lookin’. What for though, eh? No effin’ reason really. It’s not their fault. Back and forth, back and forth. Sun’s coming up. I can see that first pink blush out the window through the trees. Can’t get out there though, can I. Back and forth, back and forth. Feels like I’m gonna explode.

So, I’ll get a drink or something. A glass of water? Nup, can’t be stuffed. Back and forth, back and forth. I just wanna move, that’s all. Move a little further than this bloody line. Get out on the other side for a bit. Change of scenery, ya know? Back and forth. Can’t though. I’m stuck here. Stuck here with someone watching safely somewhere in their tiny room.

They’ve changed the music. What’s this shit? Is that supposed to keep me entertained? Back and forth, back and forth. See now, I’ve started thinking about what the words mean. Never much cared before, just listened, or heard, sang it a few times, that’s it. But I’m stuck here now, stuck in this stupid place and definitely not marching to the beat of me own bloody drum. Back and forth, back and forth.

Someone’s coming. I gotta be nice.

Fuck this.

‘Good morning.’

They wander around aimlessly, doing their own thing, making little mistakes I wouldn’t have made. Blah blah, here we go. Back and forth, back and forth. You think I’m in a temper? I’m not in a temper. This is nothing. I’m controlled here.

‘It’s all good, don’t worry about it.’

Back and forth, back and forth. Not lookin’ at the time, not yet. I’ll feel better soon. Just gotta find something to do, that’s all. Back and forth.

Yeah, just gotta find something to do.

‘Have a good day.’