~~~~~~,~’~~~~~.~’~~80> let me know if any of this sounds familiar, especially today. As I wrote it all back in March, it’s terribly exciting it all comes up as I post it, isn’t it.

Solway had written a very long list of people she’d never thought she’d speak to again. Many of them had job titles that not even she knew what they meant, but along with those job titles came experiences and fancy toys that Solway thought, if she asked very nicely, she might be able to get them (the people) to use to save Bart.

Not that she was sure if Bart needed saving.

But, it might help her get some sleep knowing he could be saved if he needed to be.

Solway did not think she would be getting too much sleep tonight. Her stomach was turning over and over, just like her mind, which seemed to be performing acrobatic cartwheels around the fact she had left her partner in the middle of the bush all alone, possibly stuck in a creek without a paddle. She picked up the phone and searched up a name she had not looked up in quite some time.

He answered on the first ring. 

‘Hans Endersans,’ he said in a very official sounding voice.

‘It’s me.’

‘Long time no hear.’ Her brother sounded relaxed. ‘Could you make it quick, Sol? I’m on another call.’

Her stomach dropped. ‘Oh. Um… How long is the other call going to take?’

‘Not too long, I guess. We’re wrapping up shortly. I can feel it.’

Solway started to laugh. Her brother could always “feel” things, but he didn’t always get it right. ‘Would it help if I gave you a time-frame to wrap things up by?’

‘Could you? That would be great.’ She could hear the smile in his voice.

‘Fifteen minutes. If you’re not done in fifteen minutes, you owe me five bucks.’

‘You’re on.’

Feeling slightly better about herself, Solway decided to make a cup of coffee. She put on the kettle.

______________o______________

‘Put some clothes on,’ said Bart from under his beanie. It was a sentence he never thought he’d utter in his life, but here he was saying it, and meaning it, because this thing was not Solway, and he knew that because, before he’d pulled the beanie down over his face he had seen, quite clearly, that not only were its eyes extremely round and golden, but when it had smiled it had no teeth.

Which was not all it was cracked up to be, in his humble opinion.

Is that thought based on a dirty joke I think it is I don’t have clothes this is what I came here with I used a plastic poncho from your car do you have clothes I can wear then oh wait a minute she dropped something earlier on and I pulled it out of the wind  I’ll put that on okay I look like you now see if that’s better

Bart raised one side of his beanie very, very slowly and looked at the lizard.

‘Are those Solway’s knickers?’

I guess so am I wearing them correctly

‘No. They are meant to be worn, you know, down below… not on your head.’

You are wearing your knickers on your head

‘Nope, I’m not.’ Bart pulled the beanie back down to cover his chin ‘This is a beanie. It’s official headwear, in my humble opinion. What you are wearing is not headwear, it is underwear and you are meant to wear it on your under regions.’

My feet question mark I think if I wore these… do they go on both feet or just one there are two stringy bits do they go between my toes do I need to jump instead of walk you know I only just developed these legs and I do not think I have learnt how to use them yet

Bart could feel his cheeks getting very hot. He did not, under any circumstances, wish to remove the beanie.

‘Put one leg in one hole that one string makes and put the other leg in the other hole and make sure the cloth bit is in the middle and then pull them up your legs.’

He could hear shuffling. 

‘Pull them right up to the top of your legs and make sure they cover everything there if…,’ he remembered exactly how much those knickers he had bought Solway last Christmas did not cover. ‘…If you can. Don’t pull them too high though because..’ He heard a screech, which thankfully wasn’t too loud. ‘It might get uncomfortable.’

Now what

‘I think I can now probably help you find a blanket to wrap around yourself. I am coming to terms that you have absolutely no understanding of decorum, or how off-putting this is for me, so I am…’

I do understand it is perfectly natural this is what animals do to make more animals is it not I think I can help you make more animals but you are thinking this is not right because I am not Solway what an interesting idea are all humans like this you know there are many birds and animals that are like this so I suppose it makes sense okay I think I have a feeling what a blanket is and I can get it and I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. There I made a fullstop in my thoughts just for you and I have also warped a blanked around my hung on this isnt right something else is here its that bloody fucking splendid man he understand this better than you do where the hell is he it must have stopped raining I hope he has not bought the girls He has more than one

Bart pulled off his beanie.